Weekly Newsletter: Understand to Forgive

The Buddha said, “To understand everything is to forgive everything.”[1] There were times when my parents didn’t understand my motivations, and also times when I didn’t understand theirs. If we could have talked and shared our reasons, perhaps some of our turbulent years would have been easier. Understanding another person is not always easy because of our preconceived ideas. Religion has plenty of preconceived ideas, rules, and doctrines that often create walls of right and wrong which prevent us from understanding one another. Battles are drawn over trivial questions of doctrine, and men and women are willing to die to defend their beliefs. Understanding one another can seem like weakness. Anyone who understands me can be converted to my way of thinking — or so we might believe. Understanding and agreeing with someone is not necessarily the same.
 
Understanding helps us walk a mile in someone’s moccasins. It doesn’t, however, give us the right to take their shoes, or to tell them our shoes and our ways of walking are the only right ways. Forgiveness often begins through understanding, continues through acceptance, and can end in peace when we comprehend that by understanding another, we are actually learning to understand ourselves. When we are not willing to try to understand someone, we block them from our friendship, care, and love. Just because someone’s behavior is difficult to understand, it doesn’t mean that person is working from hurtful, vicious, or selfish motives. They could simply be misguided, and if we look a little deeper, we may find the behavior that seems wrong to us might simply be a call for love.
 
[1] Young, Christopher (2012-04-12). Buddha Quotes - 365 Days of Inspirational Quotes and Sayings in Buddhism (Kindle Location 450). Kindle Edition.