Because I grew up in a religious system that stressed perfection, I never felt as if I were good enough. I often consoled myself by thinking, Maybe I’m not good enough, but I’m certainly better than most. That thought played to my ego, but it didn’t help. I still felt inadequate and always harbored a certain amount of fear.
I didn’t realize the feeling of being “not good enough” was common to other people. In fact, I discovered it was a lot more common than I imagined. Where does this feeling come from? Our parents? Perhaps, to a degree. From our religious education? For many, that answer could also be yes, at least partially. From a lack of love? Yes, most definitely a lack of love has a large part to play in not feeling good enough.
All of these partial answers also relate back to fear. Perfect love trumps fear every time. When we love and accept ourselves — just as we are — then fear cannot remain, and we will come to accept that we are good enough. It’s not a matter of performance. Being good enough is a matter of love and worth, and we must be worthy or The Divine wouldn’t have created us. Step Thirteen says in part, “The witness of our lives is the only message we need to carry to others.” But, if we live in fear of not being good enough, how can that be a positive message for others. By accepting that we are as The Divine created us, we have a good start on a positive message to share with others, even if that message is more visual than verbal.
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Our purpose is to help individuals to heal who have been injured by religion or the religious. We welcome your comments and questions.