STONE NINE CONTINUED
Transform: By changing my thoughts, I transform my life. I choose to change my thoughts concerning past experiences that hold me in pain. I choose to see them from a higher perspective. Instruction: Release thoughts that hurt. Thoughts can hurt. Think about any scenario in which you have been hurt by something someone said and evaluate the circumstances as if you had no ability to think positively or negatively about the situation. Consider the circumstances as if you could not feel the hurt. It is not the words that are said or the emotions given off by someone else, but our thoughts about the words and the emotions that cause us pain. If we think we are being verbally abused or attacked by someone, we will feel hurt. If we were told the individual had Tourette Syndrome, our mind would most likely take a different line of thinking, make allowances, and the hurt that we might have felt would probably be much less or not at all. We have the power to change our thoughts by simply practicing different responses until we find ones that allow us to release thoughts that bring hurt with them. A lot of what happens in life is more about conditioned responses instead of intentional behavior. After someone retires, it is not unusual to find them automatically turning into their former place of business when they are in the vicinity. They have done the same thing for years, and the mechanics of doing the same thing are like being on autopilot. The same goes for our emotions. Once we have conditioned ourselves to respond to situations in a certain way, our natural go-to maneuver is to do what we know best, even if that brings us pain. It takes effort to break those conditioned responses, but it can be done. Our lives can be transformed by the power of our thoughts. When we replace thoughts that bring us pain with thoughts that bring us joy and happiness, we are in the process of letting go of the past with its learned responses and creating a future in which we are aware of our thoughts and are able to make positive choices about what we want to think. Today’s Assignment is to consider these words of caution. If you come from a religious background that requires total submission and servitude from you, then trying to make allowances by changing the way you view the past might not work. If not understood correctly, it could actually keep you in an abusive situation. You might need to disentangle and remove yourself first, especially if the abuse is ongoing. If you are in this position, before trying to forgive by changing your thoughts — which is just a tool to aid in your forgiveness — sit with the situation first and determine if the right course of action is to stay or leave.okay to forgive and remove yourself from the abusive situation or person that caused the abuse for as long as you need to in order for you to feel safe.
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STONE NINE CONTINUED
Transform: By changing my thoughts, I transform my life. I choose to change my thoughts concerning past experiences that hold me in pain. I choose to see them from a higher perspective. Instruction: Transform through forgiveness. Another excellent tool to help us transform our lives by changing our thoughts is that of forgiveness. The reason many past experiences hold us in pain is because we have yet to forgive the people who hurt us. Some believe that The Divine is the only one who can grant eternal forgiveness, and for those who hold such thoughts, they might not be able to accept that The Divine is quick and willing to forgive us for anything and everything we have ever done or will do. Seems like carte blanche freedom to do anything we want, and in a sense, that could be true, but to use that freedom in a way that is destructive to ourselves and others brings consequences that remind us we should listen to the better nature of our being and live our lives without regrets. We don’t need the motivation of eternal damnation when we consider that living recklessly is ill-conceived and reckless. As we work Stone Nine, forgiveness becomes a valuable tool to help us shed the pain of the past. We seek forgiveness and accept forgiveness, and things suddenly become healed and whole. When we think someone’s motivation for hurting us was intentional and evil in nature, we will find forgiveness difficult. If we can change the way we interpret their actions (changing our thoughts), we can find it easier to forgive and release the past. In a sense, what we are doing at times is making excuses for them. This might be considered a mind game, but in reality, we don’t know what motivates another person. We can’t read their mind. We choose to believe the first thing that comes into our minds, and often, that thought is a negative one. Would we be so quick to assign these negative motivations to our own actions? I don’t think so, and if we can comprehend that our actions are sometimes motivated by circumstances out of our control and give grace to ourselves, then we should be able to apply the same thought process to those who we feel have hurt us. By transforming our thoughts about the past, we can find ways to forgive, release, and move on. Today’s Assignment is to consider the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. This is a good time to remember that forgiveness and reconciliation are two different words with two different meanings. It is also a good time to remember that forgiveness is as much, if not more, for the one who is doing the forgiving. Forgiveness allows you to release bitterness and pain. Reconciliation, when it means you attempt to reunite with the religion or religious person that abused you, is optional, and often a bad idea. As I said in the last paragraph, you can’t know what another person is thinking, but you can know if their actions hurt you. You can choose to separate from the pain without placing a value judgment on their motives. Take a moment to consider the difference between the words “forgive” and “reconcile.” Some religions might have us believe you can’t forgive without reconciling with the abuser. Why should you allow them the chance to hurt you again especially if you have discerned that their behavior hasn’t changed? It is okay to forgive and remove yourself from the abusive situation or person that caused the abuse for as long as you need to in order for you to feel safe. I remember the days of teaching my teenage children how to drive. Until the age of sixteen, my wife and I had driven them wherever they needed to go. Now, according to some arbitrary law, they were old enough to earn a license and drive on their own. Someday, sooner than I want, I will need them to drive me to places I need to go because I will no longer have the ability to drive myself.
There was a time when I was guided (driven, so to speak) spiritually by a set of rules and doctrines. It wasn’t until later in life that I took the wheel of control and decision-making away from my parents and spiritual teachers in order to steer my spiritual path on my own. It wasn’t at the age of sixteen that I learned how to “drive” my spiritual decisions and choose my own destinations. No, it came much later in life. If we fail to take control of our spiritual course, we could miss many wonderful experiences and adventures. My parents’ path worked well for them, but for some reason it failed me. But, I have also learned to turn over my journey to The Divine and ask for my Divine Parent’s instruction and guidance. STONE NINE CONTINUED
Transform: By changing my thoughts, I transform my life. I choose to change my thoughts concerning past experiences that hold me in pain. I choose to see them from a higher perspective. Instruction: Change our thoughts about religion. Religion comes from the Latin word re-ligos, which means “to tie together again.” In a sense, pure religion has nothing to do with rules and regulations, but it has everything to do with coming together again in harmony, in oneness, and (if you don’t mind a little personal interpretation here) in love. It seems to me that religion that brings us together, no matter what brand we choose, is a positive endeavor — at least in its purest form. Religions that are elitist and claim to have the only right answers only bring together those who agree with the teachings of that particular religion and alienate all others. One of the things I personally had to learn, and am still learning, is that not all religion is wrong or evil, and at the heart of most religions, there is kindness and love. For my personal experience, I had to change my thoughts about religion in order to help me heal from the abuses I experienced in one particular religion and recognized in other religions, too. This has been a slow process that has taken years, and I am still working through things as they present themselves. One thing I believe is that religion, “the tying together again” of hearts and souls, is a good thing, and we should not criticize or attack religious beliefs that have that as their goal as long as they are inclusive of all people. I share this personal illustration to show how Stone Nine can transform our thoughts. Certainly I didn’t come to this Stone without first feeling the emotions (Stone Seven) and then deciding which ones I wanted to release (Stone Eight). I didn’t want to feel hurt or angry at the religion that, in my opinion, offended me. Part of my personal recovery is to change my thoughts concerning past experiences and to see them from a higher perspective. I choose to see the experiences of that period of my life differently. I now believe that those who caused me pain where doing what they thought was in my best interest, and in their own way, they were trying to love me back into what they believed was the right way. When someone does something to me in the spirit of love, even though it might be misguided, I choose to forgive them — and myself in case I am wrong and they are right. Today’s Assignment is to consider the following questions. Have you placed too much faith in a particular religion to the degree that you are unable or unwilling to recognize any faults or wrong-doings they might be guilty of? Have you become closed-minded to all religious beliefs except your own particular brand and personal flavor? If you have moved past that point, where are you now? Can you see some good in what you once believed in so strongly but can no longer adhere to? Can you see some commonality among some, or even most, religions? Perhaps the best question might be to ask if your religion helps to tie together hearts and souls of all people, or does it divide and alienate? Finally, what can you do to help religion to return to its original definition? What can you do “to tie together again?” STONE NINE
Transform: By changing my thoughts, I transform my life. I choose to change my thoughts concerning past experiences that hold me in pain. I choose to see them from a higher perspective. Instruction: Change your direction. Lao Tsu said, “If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”[1] That seems so simple and such common sense information that we almost feel insulted that someone actually put it down in words. We often overlook the simple and common sense wisdom and keep plunging forward in the same direction even though we intuitively know we could be making a grave mistake. The biggest part of changing direction lies in changing our thoughts. What we believe is important, and we must examine our beliefs and question them to be sure they are moving us in the direction we want to go. Sometimes we know we are not moving on the path we want to be on, but instead of changing direction, we hope that somehow the path will change on its own. It probably won’t, and we might as well accept that if there is going to be any change, it will be up to us to initiate it. If we want to overcome a painful religious experience, but we decide to subject ourselves to the same conditions that created it, why would we be surprised if the result was a repeat of our past experience? We have other options. We can speak out against what happened or confront those who hurt us, and at times actions are appropriate. We can also remove ourselves from the situation. Of course, we can take all three actions and others that come to mind. We don’t have to remove ourselves from the situation if we think it can be resolved without fear of a recurrence. Ultimately, we must direct our thinking in healthy ways that will allow us to move in the spiritual direction that is best for us. Our thoughts will transform our lives if we will let them, and they can also transform our lives in ways we don’t want if we refuse to be proactive instead of reactive. Today’s Assignment is to consider the direction you are moving in. Will you reach your spiritual goal by remaining true to this course, or do you need to make some adjustments? Remember that the longer we stay off course, the more difficult it can be to make our way back. Corrections can be simple, easy, and quick if you don’t allow yourself to stray too far off course. I was driving home from out of state one day and discovered I had missed an exit. Because I discovered it quickly, it only took a few minutes to get back on track. Had I failed to realize I was no longer on the right road, it could have taken hours to make up for my mistake. [1] Young, Christopher (2012-04-12). Buddha Quotes - 365 Days of Inspirational Quotes and Sayings in Buddhism (Kindle Location 1337). . Kindle Edition. STONE EIGHT CONTINUED
Release: After experiencing all feelings, I release any emotions I deem harmful to my spiritual path. Instruction: Release control. Our emotions come and go, and it doesn’t seem as if we have control over what emotions come and what emotions go. We can be riding in a car, pleasantly enjoying the scenery when all of a sudden someone crashes into us. Our emotions will flood into our consciousness, and we won’t be able to stop them. The life we have led and the thoughts and beliefs we have held might influence some of the emotions we experience to a lesser or greater degree, but it will not stop them. In the moments that follow the crash, we are often helpless to control our emotions — and we shouldn’t be. We need to experience them, and at times, to vent them to ourselves or to someone we trust. We will find it difficult to release unwanted emotions if we try to ignore or suppress them, and since we have no control over the initial onslaught of emotions that we face every day, we might as well accept them, own them, and release them. We don’t even have control over the positive emotions that bring joy and happiness into our lives. Trying to hold onto these emotions will discourage us and can have us living in a la-la land of make-believe that glosses over reality. We must accept the emotions that come and try not to place value judgments on them. This is not easy to do. We place value judgments on most things in life, and our emotions are no exception. We value happiness, peace, and love, and we try to steer clear of pain, sorrow, loss, and anger. This is understandable. As we have said before, there is value in all our emotions, and all can serve us if we understand their usefulness. Not only do we release those emotions we deem negative, but at times we also release those emotions that we believe are positive, trusting that, just like the negative emotions, they will return. By trying to hold onto the positive emotions longer than reasonable, we can find ourselves living in the past — or at least trying to. We are not meant to live in the past, so it is important to let our emotions play out each day and to remember to release them. Our ultimate goal is peace and a spiritual connection with all beings. Releasing enables peace and oneness. Today’s Assignment is about releasing control. We have now talked about release for seven days, and today’s lesson has been about releasing control. Life moves in circles, life and death, light and darkness, day and night. Many things that happen are temporary, and when the circle is complete we will end up where we started. As you consider the bigger picture today, remember that control is out of your hands in many areas of life, perhaps in the majority of the areas of your life. Let it go. Take charge of what you do when life seems out of control and also during those times when you feel as if you are in control. STONE EIGHT CONTINUED
Release: After experiencing all feelings, I release any emotions I deem harmful to my spiritual path. Instruction: Release the past. The past is behind us and can no longer hurt us — unless we allow it to. When we reflect upon past situations, we can only recall them through our thoughts, and as we have been considering, thoughts can bring back old emotions that we no longer want to hold. If we were to look at someone who abused us in the past, we might immediately feel the emotions of betrayal, hurt, and other negative emotions that we might want to release. It doesn’t mean we will forget what happened or that steps shouldn’t be taken to make sure the abuse doesn’t happen again to us or to someone else, but reliving the event and being tossed immediately into emotional turmoil is something we don’t have to live with. When the emotions come, we can follow our pattern of feeling the emotion, recognizing its source, deciding to step back and examine it, and release it. The more we practice this exercise, the easier and quicker it becomes to see it as a part of our past that no longer has power over us. One key to knowing which emotions need to be released is when we feel as if we have become the emotion. When we say to ourselves I am ugly instead of I feel ugly, we have accepted something that is not true, and we should let it go. If we say I am angry instead of I feel angry, again, we have become the emotion. By separating the emotion from our feelings, we see it as a third party that has the potential to make us happy, sad, content, loving, irritable, or any other of the various emotions we each experience on a constant basis. As we will examine in Stone Nine, releasing the past is key to a healthy present and future. Why would we want to hold onto negative emotional experiences when we can release them and live a happier, healthier life? Today’s Assignment is to consider the difference between feeling an emotion versus being the emotion, and be sure to include the emotions you consider positive. Instead of saying I am happy, try saying I feel happy. If you were to ask me if I were happy and I wasn’t feeling particularly happy at that moment, I would say “No,” and then I might feel a sense of disappointment. But, if I could readily say I don’t feel happy, but what I am feeling is contentment or joy (or any other emotion), then the sense of disappointment might not be a part of my response. STONE EIGHT CONTINUED
Release: After experiencing all feelings, I release any emotions I deem harmful to my spiritual path. Instruction: Release ego thoughts. Perhaps there is a way to train the ego to think in right ways and not in directions that are selfish or self-destructive. I would like to think it’s possible for the ego to be used in positive ways. Since we have egos, hopefully they can serve a useful purpose. Until we have trained our egos to benefit us instead of making our lives more complicated, it is wise to treat the ego the way we treat our emotions and thoughts. We acknowledge ego thoughts, examine them, and then step back and decide if the thought works for our best interests or against them. I like this quote from A Course in Miracles concerning the ego: Today we let no ego thoughts direct our words or actions. When such thoughts occur, we quietly step back and look at them, and then we let them go. We do not want what they would bring with them. And so we do not choose to keep them.[1] Dismissing ego thoughts is a good practice that can help us release unwanted thoughts and emotions, and, again, it’s not a matter of repressing them but releasing them. When the ego says, I am more important, or I deserve — we can step back, examine the thought, and correct it by reminding ourselves that everyone is divinely created and all are equally important. The ego thought will float away, but we know that it might (and probably will) return again, perhaps in a slightly different expression, and we can dismiss it every time it returns. If we have trained our egos to respond in positive ways, we can examine the thought and accept it. Perhaps someone belittles us for something we said or did, and the ego says to us, You are divinely created, worthy of love and acceptance just like everyone else. We can accept this thought and let it soothe us. We can move forward from there and extend grace to the one who injured us even though our initial reaction might be to retaliate in kind. We feel the pain, we examine the thoughts of retaliation, and we decide if they will serve our best interests. Then, we can release them if we decide they will not work for us, and we can choose a different thought instead. Today’s Assignment is to observe. When trying to look at your ego and how it helps or hinders you, perhaps it might help to observe (without trying to judge) someone you know who has an ego that seems overly strong, someone who boasts of their accomplishments. Then observe (again without trying to judge) someone who seems to have a weak ego and thinks they are worthless. Where do you relate yourself compared to those two examples? Do you have an ego that is perhaps too strong or an ego that is perhaps too weak? What does a healthy ego look like? Perhaps the person who knows their importance. but also the importance of everyone else, has a more balanced ego that can work for them and not against them. [1] Schucman, Dr. Helen (Scribe) (2008-08-01). A Course in Miracles (Kindle Locations 17412-17414). Foundation for Inner Peace. Kindle Edition. STONE EIGHT CONTINUED
Release: After experiencing all feelings, I release any emotions I deem harmful to my spiritual path. Instruction: Practice releasing. Yesterday we considered releasing thoughts, but the same is true for emotions. They come and go, and we can decide which ones we want to release. Sometimes that release isn’t instantaneous, but as we practice recognizing and releasing, we will get better at letting things go. One way to practice releasing is to find little things in our lives that annoy us on a regular basis, acknowledge the feeling, and practice letting go of it. For me, it happens when I am driving. At times, I struggle to hold my temper, because I see the risks that other drivers take, and I want to scream at them. This doesn’t happen all the time, but it has occurred enough to make me want to change how I react. In the past, I have also found drivers to be rude and uncaring. I learned that what I saw in other drivers were also qualities I had when I got behind the wheel of a car. I had to begin by acknowledging my feelings, and after I acknowledged the feelings, I decided which ones I wanted to keep and which ones I wanted to release. At times, I was angry at drivers who I thought were putting me, other drivers, and themselves at risk. Someone who blatantly ran a red light could cause an accident that could cause serious injuries or even death. That anger didn’t serve me well. It was a real emotion, and I didn’t want to suppress it. I also didn’t want to let it rule my demeanor or ruin my day. I learned (and am still learning) to release the anger by surrounding the driver with loving forgiveness, and after venting the anger properly, and at times, improperly, I prayed for their safety and for the safety of those whose paths they crossed. On my more generous days, I even prayed that whatever was causing them to be reckless would be removed from their life. There was another aspect of practicing the release from road rage that also helped me. Each time I experienced the frustration, especially to the point of rage, I looked at my own driving practices to determine if I was guilty of doing some of the same things I accused other drivers of doing — if I wasn’t being an “idiot” just like I accused others of being. The answer was more often than not, “yes.” I began trying to be a better driver, and I also determined to be a more defensive driver — looking for possible situations that might trigger my emotions in ways I didn’t want them triggered and avoid them by being prepared for them. I also determined that I would be more courteous of other drivers, and I allowed people to merge when in the past I might have sped up to cut them off. By practicing these techniques when driving, I’m seeing a difference not only when I’m behind the wheel but also in other areas of life. I can release more unwanted emotions and thoughts without repressing them. I know they will probably return, but that’s okay. Today’s Assignment is to think about what causes you frustration. You might not struggle with the way other people drive like I do, but perhaps you have a different area in your life that causes you frustration. What can you do in order to start releasing that frustration? You might not be able to change those situations, but you can change how you react, think, and feel. This often takes a great deal of effort, but finding and working on these often seemingly insignificant “pet peeves” can bring a greater sense of peace in all areas of your life. STONE EIGHT CONTINUED
Release: After experiencing all feelings, I release any emotions I deem harmful to my spiritual path. Instruction: Release, not repress. Even though the difference might seem small at first, there is a difference between releasing our thoughts and repressing them. If we repress our thoughts, it is like trying to deny them or push them away. When we release our thoughts, they can float away like a feather in a breeze. This allows us to consider other thoughts and other feathers in the breeze that will float our way. As these other thoughts come to us, we can observe them and then determine if we want to give them more than just a casual acknowledgment. Repressed thoughts return, and then we have to push them down again. Released thoughts return, but it’s not like we weren’t expecting them. Just because we release or repress a thought, it doesn’t mean it won’t return, but when a repressed thought returns, we might feel guilty for having the thought again. When a released thought returns, we can understand that its return is normal and can be dealt with without guilt or fear. Consider someone who is trying to lose weight. The thought might come to them: I want an ice cream sundae. The repressed thought says, No! That is wrong and will make you blow your diet. The released thought acknowledges that it would like to eat a sundae, and then considers whether or not to act on that thought. Perhaps the diet has gone well and the individual wants to act on the thought. She or he can do so without guilt. They might be disappointed later, but then they can acknowledge the disappointment and act on it by deciding differently the next time a thought comes to eat something they know might not be in keeping with their long-term goals. They might also make the same choice and “blow” their diet again. In reality, the ultimate decision of what to do is not a moral issue. Our bodies will respond differently to the things we consume and eating healthy is often in our best long-term interests, but there is no need to beat ourselves up over decisions that weren’t necessarily the best. We don’t always choose what is best, and often we don’t even know what is best. Sometimes an ice cream sundae can be just what we needed. By understanding that thoughts come and go, we can more easily let them go or at least say “No” for the time being, knowing that we will have another chance to choose again. After all, we do have to eat something. Today’s Assignment is to take some time to consider the difference between a repressed thought and a released thought. Why is releasing more useful than repressing? If you are used to repressing your thoughts, it might take some practice to learn how to release them. One helpful concept is to know that those released thoughts might or might not return, but you don’t have to feel guilt or shame. You can simply choose to release them again. Quite often the essential things are overlooked. We take our breath for granted, but without it we would die. We don’t have to practice breathing any more than we have to practice existing. We take both for granted, but we cannot have one without the other. There is no absolute way of knowing certain things. Will the sun come out tomorrow? Will the moon continue to circle the earth? We take these things for granted, however, because they have never failed us in the past.
Many people treat their spiritual journey the same way — taking it for granted that they will have a future time to think about things spiritual and other-worldly. We don’t know for certain that our behavior in this life will influence the next life, but most religions seem to think that it will. For some, however, the question isn’t whether our behavior influences the afterlife, but how it affects our present life. Could we be happier and more fulfilled in this life if we were to pay attention to our spiritual journey even if we don’t know for certain that it will continue after we die? Living a better, more fulfilled life is a strong argument for religion and spirituality and to be the best that we can be — here and now. And, if it has positive benefits in a world to come, then that’s a wonderful bonus. STONE EIGHT CONTINUED
Release: After experiencing all feelings, I release any emotions I deem harmful to my spiritual path. Instruction: Separate feelings from ego. What is the difference between taking care of ourselves and being selfish? We might want to take a day off from work, get away, and spend some time and money pampering ourselves. Is this selfish or self-care? If we listen to other people, some might say it’s selfish: How can you be so thoughtless as to spend so much on yourself when others don’t have enough to eat? Someone else might interpret this as self-care: How can you be of use to others if you don’t take care of yourself? If we look to others for the answer, we will find that we can justify anything we want. All we have to do is look long enough and someone will agree with the decision we truly want to make. The truth is that both scenarios can be acceptable. There is no harm in taking care of ourselves, and there is also no harm in deciding that the needs of others in a particular situation might be more pressing than our needs at the time. The ego has something to say in both situations, and depending on how well we understand our ego, we can allow the situation to make us feel guilty or happy. If the desire to take a day off and get away stems from the feeling of being overwhelmed and needing a break, then we can feel good about taking care of ourselves. If we are prone to making spur of the moment decisions that we later regret, then we might feel some regret for wasting a day on ourselves. The same opposite reaction can be had if we chose not to care for ourselves and decided to spend time helping the “less fortunate.” If we were overwhelmed and needed a break, we might feel put upon when helping others when what we really wanted was to help ourselves. At the same time, depending on the person, we might discover that helping others was just what we needed. If the voice of our ego is a negative voice, then, often, no matter what we choose the ego will find a way to make the experience feel bad. Recognize the ego’s voice for what it is. Recognize the feelings, and if the feelings are negative because of the negative ego voice, then simply step back, take a look at those feelings, and release them. Today’s Assignment is to look for balance as you consider today’s needs. You should be able to take time out to recover, heal, and find renewed strength. How long has it been since you’ve done something for yourself? How long has it been since you’ve helped another person? Are you feeling balanced or out of balance? If your balance is off, take the needed steps to restore balance to your life. STONE EIGHT
Release: After experiencing all feelings, I release any emotions I deem harmful to my spiritual path. Instruction: Evaluate your emotions. Stone Eight begins by reminding us to experience all of our emotions. We also want to remember that every emotion serves a purpose. Some might seem more negative by nature, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t useful. So, we feel them, place a value judgment on them, and then we can pick the ones we want to keep and release the ones we don’t. Keep in mind that these are momentary decisions based on the circumstances surrounding us. The emotions we choose to release will return in different ways at later times, and each time they return, we must feel them first and then choose what we want to do with them. We might think that anger is an emotion we would never want to hold onto, and for the most part, that’s probably true. There could be times when the feeling of anger creates a protective situation that we want to retain. If someone is threatening physical harm to one of our children, we might get angry and want to hold onto that anger until the danger has passed. When the danger passes, we might notice that it seems to linger longer than needed, but once again, we feel that anger, acknowledge it, and then decide when it’s time to release it — not suppress or ignore it. When we know that emotions will return when needed, we know we can release anger once it has done the work it needs to do, which in the case of the illustration, was to raise our natural response to protect our children. After we release it, however, anger will be more readily available to us should the situation return. Remember that evaluating your emotions is a judgment call. If we trust our gut, we will usually get the right call. If we allow our decision to be tainted by teaching that sees our emotions as black and white, we might be more prone to make the wrong call. For instance, if a religious leader were to tell us that all anger, all lust, or all deception is one hundred percent wrong all the time and we believed it, then we could find ourselves perplexed, agitated, and shamed for a lot of things that are natural responses to a given situation. What we do with our feelings is the issue, not whether or not we have those feelings. Today’s Assignment is to consider if you are judging your emotions in a good or bad, black or white scenario that doesn’t make room for exceptions. In the Christian tradition, the concept of “letter of the law” versus “spirit of the law” often comes into play, and people who think with a good/evil mindset don’t always consider the spirit of the law. Laws can’t cover every possible situation and dictate every possible “right” answer. That’s where the spirit of the law goes into effect. Consider some situations in your life where you might have been following the letter of the law and didn’t listen to your heart, instinct, or love which is always in line with the spirit of the law. STONE SEVEN CONTINUED
Feel: I allow myself to feel. My emotions are part of my being. By allowing myself to feel, I heal and grow. Instruction: Feel sorrow. Another emotion that some people believe we should dismiss as soon as possible, or not even hold at all, is sorrow. This is often a result of the culture we live in. In some cultures, sorrow is allowed more freely than in others, and feeling sorrowful is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Some societies might see us as weak individuals if we cry, blubber, or weep, but for us to believe that sorrow is a bad emotion is to dismiss one of the best healing, cleansing, and restoring emotions given to us. To dismiss sorrow before fully experiencing it not only allows blocked emotions to be stored instead of released, but it also dishonors those who are deserving of our sorrow. When we lose a loved one due to death or from other circumstances, our natural response is to grieve. Those who were raised in an unemotional environment, an environment that showed little emotion, or where only certain emotions were acceptable often struggle with sorrow. They might believe that grieving should be done in private, done quickly, and then forgotten and ignored as soon as possible. Trying to forget or ignore won’t allow us to release the emotion. Release comes in its own time. All of our emotions serve a purpose, and without them, we are not experiencing what it means to be human. We haven’t said much about laughter, and part of the reason is because it is so important that it is covered in Stone Eleven. Laughter is an emotion that is important because of its healing qualities, but so are all the other emotions. Pain, grief, sorrow, joy, ecstasy, and all of the rest of our emotions have healing characteristics that aid the body, mind, and soul in overcoming the trials of life and our experiences of abuse, betrayal, and feelings of abandonment from the world and from The Divine. By healing through our emotions, we reconnect with the feelings of joy, belonging, and love. Today’s Assignment is to look at your past and determine if there were any emotions you considered useless, unwanted, or unneeded? If so, you might want to take some time to reconsider those beliefs. Have you also put a time limit on some emotions? You might want to consider if this belief has been beneficial or harmful. You might not want to wallow in some emotions, but at the same time you don’t want to overlook the benefits of all of your emotions. Allow yourself to feel your emotions, and if you feel you are wallowing, then try to strike a balance. In Stone Eight we will consider ways to release our emotions once they have served their purpose. STONE SEVEN CONTINUED
Feel: I allow myself to feel. My emotions are part of my being. By allowing myself to feel, I heal and grow. Instruction: Feel pain. All of our emotions serve a purpose, and although pain is one emotion we would rather do without, it serves a purpose. Physical pain is an indication of danger, hurt, or harm. If we place our hands on a hot stove, we will feel pain. The pain serves a two-fold purpose in this case. First, it tells us immediately to remove our hand, and second, it tells us not to repeat this action again. There are times in our relationships when we tend to ignore pain. We might be in a relationship with an abusive individual, and pain is there to tell us immediately that first, it hurts, and second, we should never put ourselves in a position where it can happen again. In spite of pain’s warnings, we might try to bury the feelings or pretend it wasn’t as bad as we thought. The worst response we can have to pain is to determine that it was our fault, at least initially. If we look at the analogy of the stove again, we could say that it was our fault that we placed our hand on a hot stove. If we did not know the stove was hot, that it would burn us, or we accidentally touched it, then blame is of no benefit. After we did it once, our memory of the pain reminds us that if we do it again we will have no one to blame but ourselves, because now we know what can happen. The same is true for those in a bad relationship. Once they have been burned by someone, to allow that abuse to continue means they are not learning from the pain of the past. We are not suggesting that we wallow in our pain, but to deny it, suppress it, or try to rise above it without acknowledging its intensity and devastation can put us in a place of denial that could allow us to let the painful experience be repeated. Many people have been through painful religious experiences, but because of their belief in the overall rightness of their brand of religion, they allowed the pain to continue. Sometimes we have the unspoken belief that the good of an organization outweighs the bad, and if that organization is doing a lot of good, perhaps we should “suck it up” and ignore the pain. We must remember that there isn’t a perfect organization, and that includes those that are religious and/or spiritual groups. Mistakes are made, and no one person, much less an organization, is perfect. Despite this, we allow ourselves to feel the pain, and then we take the necessary precautions to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Today’s Assignment is to take a brief inventory of times when you have ignored pain, especially mental or emotional pain. Also consider times when you have ignored the warning signs that you were subjected to pain due to religious abuse. Ignoring pain can lead to a life of accepting abusive behavior. Perhaps it’s time to rethink the value of pain in your life and look for warning signs that something might need to be changed. STONE SEVEN CONTINUED
Feel: I allow myself to feel. My emotions are part of my being. By allowing myself to feel, I heal and grow. Instruction: Embrace your sexuality. Another positive emotion that some religious leaders and institutions have said was evil is our sexuality. Some religions blatantly attack sexual pleasure while others are more subtle in their approach, but their message comes through. Imagine the frustration of not being able to enjoy your sexuality because of your religious beliefs. Some don’t have to imagine it, because they know exactly what it feels like. They have experienced guilt, shame, and condemnation, because their sexual thoughts were “impure and evil” or because they found themselves attracted to someone and couldn’t keep their arousal from spilling over into their thoughts and dreams. Imagine the number of confessions that have occurred, especially for young people going through puberty with all of the forces battling within them. Some have been taught that sex was only appropriate for a married couple trying to have children and only during those times. No wonder some of these religions have grown in numbers because the only time their members were officially sanctioned to have intercourse was to have kids — and the desire to have intercourse is so strong that many members of that religion had lots of children They literally grew the church through childbirth. Even though they might not have wanted a house full of children, their human nature wanted to enjoy the natural and normal act of sexual pleasure. We are often surprised to discover that some of these leaders have not been able to keep their own sexual desires under control. They have done awful things with young boys and girls and other sexual activities they would condemn their members for engaging in. Of course, we understand that those who have been sexually molested by religious leaders need healing, and Religious Recovery is one organization among many that seeks to repair the abuse that occurred. Recognizing that we have a right and a human need to experience sexual pleasure in appropriate ways might help to end some of the sexual abuse that happens from religious people. Understanding that we were created as sexual beings and are entitled to enjoy the pleasures associated with it combined with and understanding that we are allowed to avoid religious institutions that teach that sex is wrong, to be avoided, or only for procreation would help eliminate much of the religious sexual abuse. We are entitled to our feelings — good or bad. The feelings themselves are not moral or immoral — that is a matter of how we choose to act, or not act, upon those feelings. Today’s Assignment is to take a moment to consider what religious organizations have taught you about your sexuality? Do those teachings seem right to you? Do they bring you freedom or bondage? When faced with the reality that some religious leaders have sexually abused men, women, and even children, are you able to separate the “face of religion” from your Higher Power? Can you even go so far as to forgive those who have inappropriately given in to their sexual instincts? Keep in mind that we do not condone the act, and we should and do look for appropriate ways to ensure those acts are not repeated, but unless we forgive, we harm ourselves, too. STONE SEVEN CONTINUED
Feel: I allow myself to feel. My emotions are part of my being. By allowing myself to feel, I heal and grow. Instruction: Allow yourself to feel pleasure. Some religious teachings would have us believe that pleasure is a bad thing. They reason, How can we be happy when there is so much bad in the world? Some extreme religions even go so far as to teach that experiencing pleasure can be a sin. These religious people take the world and themselves very seriously. They believe that until everything is perfect there is still much work to do, and who are we to take time to play, relax, or enjoy anything pleasurable? Following the teaching and leadership of these people can lead us to feel guilt, shame, and condemnation for simply being human and feeling human emotions. They would have us remain in serious repentance, continual worship, and self-loathing if we are not doing everything in our power to help save the world from destruction. Hopefully, those religious institutions and leaders who ascribe to this way of thought are not in the majority, and many of those who believe this way see a decrease in their following, because fewer numbers mean that fewer people support their work. Perhaps that will bring a needed change in leadership that will lessen their rigidity. In some sense, Stone Seven seems to be allowing us to feel our emotions, and we often don’t give consideration to the positive ones we might be encouraged to deny or suppress. All of our feelings are part of our nature, and we don’t have to ignore, hide, or suppress any of them. That’s not to say that we should act on all our feelings. That would be babyish behavior and unworthy of mature thinking, but knowing when to act and when to release is part of finding our spiritual path. Sometimes we make wrong decisions, but perhaps the simplest solution is to acknowledge it, regret it, try to correct it, seek forgiveness for it, and release it. We don’t have to carry around chains of remorse or guilt. We make it right — right away. Today’s Assignment is to consider how you handle your mistakes. Some people don’t know what to do with their mistakes. Often they simply ignore them, perhaps in hopes that they will go away. Perhaps their pride prevents them from admitting, changing, and correcting. If you have trouble admitting your mistakes, then follow this simple formula: acknowledge, regret (remorse), correct, forgive, and release. STONE SEVEN CONTINUED
Feel: I allow myself to feel. My emotions are part of my being. By allowing myself to feel, I heal and grow. Instruction: Flow with the wind. Imagine being a feather that is caught in the wind, blowing here and there with no control whatsoever. Like many things in life, we have categorized the wind. We have calm winds, gentle breezes, mild winds, storm winds, and gale-force winds. There are even times when the wind is still, and the feather is able to come back to earth to rest awhile. Our emotions are often just like that feather, and trying to control our emotions would be like trying to stop the wind. In some ways, we have learned to harness the wind and make it do our bidding. We use it to help us fly, we harness it to provide energy to run our homes, and we set our sails to it to help our ships race across the ocean. What we should never do is ignore the wind or pretend it isn’t there, just like we should never ignore our emotions and pretend they don’t exist. Like the wind, our emotions can be harnessed to help us, but some emotions, just like the wind, can be destructive and create storms, hurricanes, and tornados that reek destruction in their path. When we learn to use the wind to our advantage, we can accomplish wonderful things. When we learn to use our emotions, to feel them and to respond to them appropriately, we will learn to do amazing things that can help to improve our lives and also make positive changes in the world. These improvements won’t happen if we ignore our feelings or pretend we feel one way when we are actually feeling something different. Emotions call us to action, but whether we act on that call is the difference between baby emotions and adult emotions. Feelings come and go and are as scattered and inconsistent as trying to plot the path of a feather being blown by the wind. Winds change directions without warning, and so do our emotions. One key to healing and spiritual growth is to acknowledge our emotions and then decide what is an appropriate way to respond to them. Today’s Assignment is to consider the feather-in-the-wind analogy and think about the ways your emotions change on a regular basis. One of the best ways to think about this is to remember the moments when the wind is still for a time and the feather has time to rest before returning to its unpredictable journey. Take some time to find a place that is sheltered from your unpredictable emotions so that you can rest. Close your eyes and relax every muscle in your body. Soon enough the winds of change will begin to blow your emotions around again, so relax, get your bearings, and get ready to experience life once more When anger leads to hatred, we have a problem. Hatred harbors ill will and is always negative. When we find ourselves hating another person, we have lost sight of the fact they are also a person made in the image of The Divine. Anger comes and goes. It can be released with little effort or with great effort, but anger can be overcome. Hatred, however, is the stuff of which feuds and wars are made.
Anger says you were wrong, or you wronged me. Hatred declares you are wrong, and I will hurt you and you don’t deserve to exist. Anger may say, “I don’t get mad, I get even.” But hatred says, “I don’t get mad, and I don’t get even — I get ahead.” Whatever you did to me, I will do to you and more. Yet even hatred can and must be overcome if we want to live a happy and peaceful life. We search our hearts for any signs of anger that could lead to hatred and eradicate them through love and forgiveness. We also search our hearts for any hatred that has formed and we eradicate that disease also through love and forgiveness. If we are not ready to let go of the anger and hatred, then our best tool is this simple prayer: “Divine Spirit, help me to want to forgive.” Sometimes, that is the best we can do, at least for the present moment. STONE SEVEN CONTINUED
Feel: I allow myself to feel. My emotions are part of my being. By allowing myself to feel, I heal and grow. Instruction: Examine your emotions. We find it easy to watch the emotions of other people, but when it comes to examining our own emotions, we rarely give it much consideration. It can be fun to watch a baby explore their range of emotions, all done on a subconscious level, and see them go from contentment, to joy, to lightheartedness, and to disappointment or irritation. The emotions in a baby are stimulated by circumstances beyond the child’s control. Hunger and weariness dictate emotions, but so do feelings of happiness that are often generated by a parent’s presence, love, and attention. As we watch, we can see the child’s emotions alter as things change in its life. We are not alarmed by this fact, but we do have our preferences, and we do want a happy baby who loves to laugh and play. We don’t judge or condemn a baby who cries, because we understand that the crying of the baby is their way of communicating their needs to us. Taking a lesson from the moods of a baby will allow us to find ways to examine our own emotions and learn how to deal with them. It’s important to remember that we are not our emotions. Sometimes we might say something like, “I am angry,” but we are not anger incarnate. The better way to express the emotion is to say, “I feel angry,” “I feel tired,” or “I feel sad.” This is the beginning of being able to examine, identify, and then eventually release unwanted emotions. The next step is to realize that emotions are not good or bad, evil or divine, and that all emotions were created for us to help us cope with life. When we act improperly on an emotion, we might give it a value judgment and say something like “I was wrong to succumb to that (bad or evil) feeling.” but even these judgments don’t always prevent us from making the same mistakes again. A better way to work with our emotions is to be able to examine them, name them if possible, step back from them, and then decide what we want to do with them. Some of this process happens almost automatically. We can use a physical need to create an emotional analogy. When we feel hungry, we have that moment in which we realize that we are, and we might even say to ourselves out loud that we are hungry. We’ve named it, so now we examine it to see if we want to do something with the emotion. Many times we will get something to eat, but other times we might be dieting, so we decide to ignore the emotion. The important thing is that the choice is ours, and we will make that choice consciously or subconsciously, but either way, we are responsible. Today’s Assignment is to make it a practice to change the way you talk to yourself. Instead of saying “I am irritated,” say instead, “I feel irritated.” You might think the difference is too subtle to make a difference, but it is a reminder that you are experiencing an emotion and that you are not that emotion. This practice can also be helpful with your self-esteem. STONE SEVEN
Feel: I allow myself to feel. My emotions are part of my being. By allowing myself to feel, I heal and grow. Instruction: Open to your feelings. Suppressing our feelings is one of the worst things we can do to ourselves. It can bring misery, sickness, a shortened life span, and even death. Ignoring pain and anger by trying to put a lid on it will create a pressure-cooker scenario that will eventually explode. When it does, the damage can be immediate and severe. We are not meant to live under pressure, and our feelings — our emotions — are the tools we’ve been given to cope with the complications of daily life. Children who were sexually molested but told to ignore or suppress the incident can bury it so deeply that they don’t even recall what happened, only to find serious adult problems to which they seem to have no explanation for its origin. Illnesses such as anorexia or bulimia create physical symptoms that are often related to our emotions. Mental sickness can also attack and create suicidal tendencies and other concerns. In Stone Six, we are encouraged to “let go of past hurts, disappointments, and abuses,” but if we have not allowed ourselves to feel these hurts, disappointments, and abuses, then letting go of them is not the place to start. We must first acknowledge our feelings and then seek to release them in healthy ways. Forgiveness isn’t easy for those who try to suppress their feelings, because eventually those emotions rise to the surface. Forgiveness is difficult until we’ve allowed ourselves to feel the painful emotions. Of course, there are times when we feel it is appropriate to suppress our emotions until we’re in a more appropriate place or time, but then it is beneficial to allow our feelings to rise to the surface so that we can deal with them when we are in a more appropriate place. When we understand that it is okay to feel the way we feel, then we are open to the healing process. When we feel anger, we feel anger. It doesn’t mean we have to act on our anger. By simply acknowledging it and owning the feeling, we can begin to analyze the source of our anger and make the changes needed to feel it and then release it without damaging ourselves or others. Today’s Assignment is to check yourself the next time you feel angry; take a moment to sit with the feeling if the circumstances permit it. Feel the rage and try to look at it from the eyes of an observer and not the one who is experiencing the anger. We can observe others and wonder what circumstances caused them to get angry, and if we are capable of being the observer in our own situation, we can often release the anger quicker and let go of the pain. STONE SIX CONTINUED
Be: Letting go of past hurts, disappointments, and abuses and letting go of future plans and expectations, I resolve to live in the present moment and simply be. Be present; be open; be available; be with Higher Self. Instruction: Be with The Divine. There is an admonition in Christianity to pray without ceasing. What does it mean to be continually in prayer? Is it feasible to reach a place where our lives are one continuous prayer? Religious Recovery does not define who we are supposed to pray to, but on our spiritual path, there is a sense of a Divine Other that walks beside us and guides us. When we strive to be present in the moment and allow the past to fall away and the future to unfold in its own time, we find that we are more likely to comprehend and come into a place where we can communicate (pray) with our Higher Power throughout the course of each day and not just in special times or seasons of intense prayer or communication. Much of our communication with those around us is nonverbal anyway, so being in communication doesn’t mean we have to be in constant dialog with The Divine but just consciously aware of the Presence that never leaves us. The more we bring this to our attention, the more we will experience the idea of praying continuously. What are some indicators that we are communicating with The Divine on a more consistent basis? One thing I look for in my own life is how well does my will line up with the will of The Divine. When I sense divine connection, I often feel as if The Divine was writing the words instead of me writing them. I also notice that when I am divinely connected I feel a sense of “not my words” but “Divine words” are spoken through me. This could easily become a source of ego pride, but what I’ve found is that often the words, spoken or written, are beyond my thoughts, seem to be divinely inspired, and are soon forgotten by me. The words were there when I needed them to help someone, or in some situations to help me, but once they’ve served their purpose, they are gone. I often don’t recognize things I’ve written in the past, and I believe this is because I feel they were divinely inspired and not necessarily written for me but for someone else. When we work Stone Six to its fullest potential and are able to simply “be,” we will not only discover that we are able to feel the presence of The Divine at all times, but we will also notice that what we want and what The Divine wants for us are the same. We were created by The Divine, made in the image of The Divine, and our heart’s deepest desires come from the same source. Today’s Assignment is to ask yourself if your desires and Divine desires are at odds. Take some time to think about what you really want at the core of your being. You might be surprised to learn that many of your deepest desires are in alignment with what The Divine wants for you. STONE SIX CONTINUED
Be: Letting go of past hurts, disappointments, and abuses and letting go of future plans and expectations, I resolve to live in the present moment and simply be. Be present; be open; be available; be with Higher Self. Instruction: Be open. Experiences come and go, and we tend to label them pleasant or unpleasant, good or bad, exciting or boring, painful or joyful, rewarding or unrewarding, and so on. For the most part, we subconsciously do this labeling. What if we could open to the experience itself without having to draw conclusions? After all, many of the things we have labeled one way in the past have tended to transform over time until we view them differently. For example, while going though cancer treatments, a person might label the experience horrendous, painful, and useless. Years later, reflecting upon that time in their life, they might see the experience as eye-opening, life-changing, and although they might not want to go through something like that again, they can have an appreciation for the things they learned and the changes it brought into their life. Part of what Stone Six is suggesting is that we can have that experience of appreciation sooner. We don’t have to wait for everything to be all right again. If we can open to the experience and ask for wisdom, guidance, and understanding to accompany our requests for healing, we can find the nuggets of love, wisdom, and insight that are ours to unearth. We might not be as concerned about the healing as we are about gaining appreciation for life and all that it entails — good or bad. Pain is a part of life, and we learn ways to cope with it. Change is also a part of life, and we would be wise to accept it and even embrace it. This can be done by living in the moment, by being present with whatever comes to us, and by connecting to The Divine to ask for wisdom, strength, courage, love, and Divine Presence. If we try to close ourselves off to what is happening in the present moment, we will find frustration, mental and emotional pain, and more questions than answers. “Opening” doesn’t mean we won’t have questions, but it makes us more available to receive answers, especially those we might not want to hear. Today’s Assignment is to ask yourself if there is a situation in life that you have trouble coping with. Are you open to new ways of looking at the situation, or are you simply gutting it out? Sometimes staying strong is the right answer, but sometimes you might be better served if you examine other ways of working through the trials of life. Try to remain open to the experience, and ask the Universe to grant you different perspectives and different ways of approaching the problem in order to understand what is going on. STONE SIX CONTINUED
Be: Letting go of past hurts, disappointments, and abuses and letting go of future plans and expectations, I resolve to live in the present moment and simply be. Be present; be open; be available; be with Higher Self. Instruction: Available to self. When we suggest that we need to be available, we aren’t suggesting that we be available to every need that comes our way, especially if those needs are presented to us by individuals who would take advantage of us and make us a slave to their whims and desires. We read yesterday about being available to help a motorist in need, but balance in life says that we aren’t responsible for the needs of every motorist. Knowing when to help (placing the needs of others ahead of our needs) and when not to help (placing our needs ahead of another) is something that comes with discernment garnered through the practice of listening to instinct, common sense, and the voice of The Divine. Sometimes we simply know that we should stop, because we feel a sense of urgency. At other times, we sense the opposite action is the one we should take. At other times, we are left in limbo. Any decision we make is not necessarily right or wrong, moral or immoral. It simply is a matter of being present in the moment to sense the guidance of our Higher Power and our inner knowing. Another caution we would give is to be certain that when we choose to become available in the present moment that we distinguish between being available to our higher self versus being available to the demands and wishes of our egos. Overcoming our egos is a problematic situation. On one hand, the ego must serve some purpose or we would not have one. On the other hand, the ego seems to be selfish and in opposition to our highest nature and calling. By seeing others as our equals and determining to treat all men and women the way we would want to be treated, we find that our egos have less power over us to make poor spiritual decisions. In time, we can find the positive ego and learn to listen to it and ignore the negative ego that is self-serving, because that ego would tell us we are the most important person in the universe and whatever we want we are entitled to. That ego will run us around in circles, enslaving us to every whim that comes our way in order to prove that we can’t please others, so we might as well please ourselves and forget about everyone else. Today’s Assignment is to consider the positive and negative uses of the ego. Many people, and I think perhaps a lot of women in particular, have had their ego squashed by religion to the point that they don’t think they are entitled to anything. They need to know that they are just as worthy as anyone else, that they are divinely created just like everyone else, and that they are entitled to live a happy, meaningful, and satisfying life — just like everyone else. STONE SIX CONTINUED
Be: Letting go of past hurts, disappointments, and abuses and letting go of future plans and expectations, I resolve to live in the present moment and simply be. Be present; be open; be available; be with Higher Self. Instruction: Be available. We have talked about being present in the moment, but we haven’t talked much about being available. This is a concept that is often overlooked, because our world has become so chaotic that being available seems to have lost its meaning. Years ago, before interstate highways and crowded cities, it wasn’t uncommon to stop what we were doing to help someone who was stranded along the side of the road. Nowadays, it seems we’re too busy going from one place to another to stop to check on someone, so it has come down to needing roadside assistance from companies linked by phone and satellite. I’m not suggesting the old ways were better. The point is that we are not available, because we have places to go, things to do, and we don’t have or make the time. Few people, with the exception of perhaps those in the rural areas, take a leisurely stroll or Sunday drive with no end destination and no agenda. When it comes to our spiritual lives, we may have fallen into the same trap. We have spiritual or religious goals or destinations to achieve, and heaven-be-damned if we’ll let anything get in our way — including the voice of The Divine. We can be so caught up in trying to be all things religious and spiritual that we miss out on the experiences as they unfold around us. We can read about the beauty of nature and how we can hear the voice of The Divine though flowers, trees, babbling brooks, and serene lakes, or we can take a walk and open our hearts to the experience. To be available also means that we can connect through a book. All experiences have the potential to grant us a deeper connection with our Higher Power if we will be available to hear, see, listen, and sense the power and presence that surrounds us. Today’s Assignment is to ask yourself how your availability is today. Do you have every minute of your day planned? In an emergency, most people will drop everything they’re doing to be in that moment and help. If everything can be dropped so quickly, what does that say about the value of what you are doing? That’s not meant to discredit your work, but to remind you that there is more to life than busyness or business (bus-i-ness). Seek moments of time during your day to be available to your friends and neighbors, to The Divine, and to yourself. |
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Religious RecoveryOur purpose is to help individuals to heal who have been injured by religion or the religious. We welcome your comments and questions. Archives
December 2018
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