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Love without Expectations

4/30/2016

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​Unconditional love is a concept that some people find difficult to accept, and I happen to be one of those people. It’s not that I don’t understand the concept; it’s just that I’m not sure such a thing is possible. I base that on the fact of how difficult I’ve found it to be for me to love without conditions, and without expecting something in return. I believe in a “cause and effect” reality and my reasoning is that if I give love, I will receive love, and, being less than perfect, there are times when I give love because I need love, and I’m hoping to receive in equal measure. Even though I find it difficult to accept that human love can be unconditional, I choose to believe that there is such a thing, and I still aspire to love without conditions.
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The Strength of Silence

4/29/2016

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​If people are expecting us to speak and we remain silent, it often irritates those that are anticipating our words. We might find it difficult to remain silent when people are expecting us to be verbal, especially if they have asked us a question, but we are under no obligation to speak just because it is expected of us. Strong individuals are able to remain silent and refuse to enter into a discussion when they know that their words would not be understood, accepted, or appreciated. Let them argue with someone else. We can keep our thoughts to ourselves, especially if it means keeping the peace.
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Agree to be Kind

4/29/2016

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​I find it difficult to imagine that people can’t agree on at least one thing, but even if we can’t agree on anything, we can still be kind to one another. If we think we must agree on everything, then it isn’t a surprise to me that so many marriages end in divorce. The art of agreeing to disagree is important in all areas of our world. It begins with the family and it must extend to our planet if we ever hope to live in peace. We can disagree as much as we want, but it doesn’t mean we can’t live in peace. When we try to force our beliefs on others, however, peace is lost.
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Which Path?

4/28/2016

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​Our happiness, or our lack of happiness, can often tell us if we are following the path that is right for us. For some, one religious path doesn’t seem to fulfill their needs and they find their happiness eluding them because it feels as if there must be more. They might look for a different religious path, they might look for a spiritual path without religion, or they might choose no path. Life’s learning process is different for each individual, and even though one path might make a particular person wildly happy, it doesn’t mean it’s the right path for everyone.
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Praise for Heretics

4/27/2016

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I don’t know that all heretics become heroes. Some just remain heretics. But, I do believe that many heretics who questioned what was accepted have come to be seen as powerfully influential individuals who have shaped our beliefs for the better. To disagree just to be disagreeing isn’t necessarily healthy, but to disagree because your heart tells you that something, or someone, isn’t aligned with Love can be a world-changing experience.
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Limited Growth

4/26/2016

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​There is a theory that a goldfish will only grow as large as his tank can contain him, but if you increase the size of the tank, the goldfish will increase in size as well. Some people have allowed a religious organization to dictate their spiritual growth. Their spiritual world will not increase unless the religion they are confined in decides it’s time to increase the size of the tank. Fortunate are those who are not confined to one tank but can freely swim and grow in all the waters or religious and spiritual environments.
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Weekly Newsletter: Trusting

4/26/2016

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​     A key element in overcoming religious abuse of any kind is trust. Also, in our efforts to help others who have been injured, we must be trustworthy. Perhaps the most important element in this issue is to develop the ability to trust ourselves. This may be simple for some, but for those who have put their trust in a religious institution or a religious individual, only to have their trust abused, this can be a major hurdle.
     Even though it might have been someone else who abused our trust, our confidence in our ability to trust our own judgment, our own discernment, and our own intuition can come into doubt. How can we trust our judgment when we were burned so badly in the past? Some practical advice comes to mind.
     We learn from our mistakes—or at least we hope to—and we try to discern what part we may have played in allowing the hurts or abuses to happen. If we placed all our trust in one specific organization or leader, we may want to rethink that strategy and have more than one method of spiritual growth. We also consider whether or not we have come to the point in our paths where we can walk alone—at least for a time—in order to develop a more personal relationship with The Divine. It doesn’t mean the path has to be lonely or that we will always walk in solitude. People will cross our path and we may choose to walk side by side for a time. Let us recall the wisdom of Stone One that asserts that we are responsible for our own spiritual path.
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April 25th, 2016

4/25/2016

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​When we are tired, we find it difficult to stick with our agendas and make the kind of progress we had hoped for. I’ve found that even on those days when all I want to do is crawl back into bed, if I will get up and just do one simple task, I won’t feel as if the day was a total loss. At least I moved toward the goal even if it was an inch or two. I also know there are days when crawling back into bed is the best decision of all. Rest is underrated. 
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Stay True to the Course

4/24/2016

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​We plod along on our journey one step at a time. Discouragements come, but that won’t defeat us if we understand that our destination is worth the effort. We might want to alter our direction slightly, but we don’t want to change our mind about our decision to seek our heart’s desire.
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Feed the Soul

4/23/2016

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​What is good for our soul? Certainly not worry, strife, heartache, turmoil, and other mindsets that put us at dis-ease. The things that are good for our soul are also the things that feed our soul, and they include things like love, kindness, gentleness, compassion (for self and others), comfort, relaxation, acceptance, hugs, kisses, and rest. As we do the things that feed our soul we will discover that we become part of the solution and not the problem.
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We Are What We Think

4/22/2016

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​Our happiness, our peace of mind, and our satisfaction with life are all dependent upon our thoughts. What we think, we become. If we choose to think positive thoughts, we will be positive and happy with our circumstances. Some might find a simple affirmation useful in helping them to change from glass-half-empty to glass-half-full. Here is one I like: “I am happy. I am safe. I am strong. I live with ease. Thank you.”
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Stepping Stones

4/21/2016

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​Let each day move us forward to our goal of love and peace. The steps we take to get us there can speed our journey or slow it. Staying in the Light also aids our decision making process. As we listen to our hearts, we will find our journey easier, lighter, and brighter. 
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Read On

4/20/2016

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​Life moves forward, and what we are today is not what or who we will be tomorrow. This chapter is being written one page at a time, but other chapters have yet to be written or even dreamed of. To judge one another by the current chapter we are living is to judge a book by reading only a few pages. 
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Weekly Newsletter: Nothing to Lose

4/19/2016

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     I am a football fan. I love to see my team win, and I hate to see them lose. Sports are like that. Much of life is like that. In sports, for every winner there must be a loser. But, does this winner/loser mentality have to carry over into our spiritual lives?
     If we carry the analogy into the spiritual realm, for every winner, there must be a loser. If winning is going to heaven, then for everyone who goes to heaven must there be someone who goes to hell? Is our religion much like pro football? If winning the Super Bowl is the ultimate goal—the sports equivalent to heaven—then does every team that doesn’t make it become destined to sports hell with little funding and a few fans who cover their faces with paper bags?
     It would seem that religions at times have taken on this win/lose attitude. We’re the best and only true religion, and if you’re not following us you’re going to miss heaven and land in hell. What if there was nothing to lose. Perhaps the truth is that there is no spiritual contest involved. Everyone can win, and no one has to lose. The universe will not be unbalanced if everyone makes it through to the next round.
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Release to Receive

4/19/2016

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​Holding on too long and too hard leaves us weary and unable to open to new experiences. We may hold on to something and carry it for a while, but eventually we might want to release it so that new experiences and new adventures can come to us. This often happens with expectations. When we hold a certain expectation of how things will play out, only to discover we were wrong, we can continue to try to force things to yield to our preconceived idea or we can open to what happened, what is, and look for the positive things that can come from our present situation. 
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Powerful Words

4/18/2016

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​Three of the most powerful words we can ever speak aloud or silently are, “I forgive you.” These words might be second in strength and power only to the words, “I love you.” And often both sets of words need to be said to those who have hurt us, to those we have hurt (please forgive me), and also to ourselves. At times, we have the most difficult time convincing ourselves of the truth in those words.
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Be Strong

4/17/2016

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​Weak people try to make themselves appear strong by knocking other people down. Strong people are not intimidated by others and have no desire to belittle someone else. We can be strong and kind at the same time. In fact we are at our strongest when we are kind. Those who stoop to lift others up have strong backs, strong hearts, and courage. 
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"Why?"

4/16/2016

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​Young children often ask the question “Why?” over and over to the point that a parent can get so frustrated that they try to end the questioning by firmly saying “Because I said so!” Many children are intimidated by the stern statement and stop questioning. Perhaps it was a game to the child, but at the same time, it was one way for them to learn. I wonder if a lot of religious people have also been intimidated by the loud voice of their religious organization that has said in similar fashion: “Because we said so!” Perhaps it’s time to ask the “Why?” question again.
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Sound of Success

4/15/2016

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​We might not like working behind the scenes and seeing other people get credit for what we believe was rightfully ours. It does seem to be true that the squeaky wheel gets the grease and that the other wheels that do their job in silence go unnoticed. But, if we accomplish the tasks we set out to accomplish, then “the noise” of success will be a sweet sound, even if that sound is silent. 
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Who Cares?

4/14/2016

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​We might find it difficult to reach a state of mind where we don’t care what other people think of us. But, we can make progress in that endeavor. There is freedom to be gained by being so strong in our self-worth that the only opinion of our self that matters is our own. On one hand we don’t want to stand out as strange or weird, but on the other hand, so what if we do? 
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Breathe and Release

4/13/2016

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​Sometimes the best way to remove stress from our lives is to take a deep breath, close our eyes, and let it go. When we don’t let things go, we tend to internalize them, and over time the stress can create a number of physical problems. Every day it would be wonderful if we could take several moments during the day to breathe deeply, close our eyes, and let go of the problems that are bothering us. If we forget during the day, then perhaps before going to bed we can make it a nightly ritual to take several deep breaths, close our eyes, and release all the problems of the day.
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Love Doubled

4/12/2016

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​If we give our love away, it does not deplete our store of love. If anything, it increases it. And, the love that we give away doubles the amount of love in the room and in the world. Just like a candle doesn’t lose any light when it lights another candle, so our souls lose nothing when we ignite the light of love in another’s heart.
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Weekly Newsletter: Mentors

4/12/2016

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​     The Religious Recovery program does not encourage or discourage a sponsor program. Some of the 12-step programs do support this concept and it has proven to be effective. One definition for the word sponsor includes the idea of resuming responsibility for someone, and in the case of spiritual growth, this could assume taking responsibility for someone’s spiritual path. We are opposed in principle to the idea of giving away our power.
     The concept of a mentor instead of a sponsor is more in line with the concepts of Religious Recovery. Over the years, I have had at least six writing mentors. Usually these individuals come into my life for a period of time, and then for one reason or another, they—or I—move on. Probably the main reasons are distance, change of philosophy, absorption of lessons, or the lack of understanding of what is trying to be taught. The reasons are usually not important. I have always remained friends with those who have guided me, and I have tried to repay that debt by also helping others. Religious Recovery is not opposed to sponsors as long as the individuals understand that each one, according to Stone One, is responsible for their own spiritual path.
     I am grateful for every writing mentor that has helped me hone my craft. Some took me so far, but could not take me any further. One mentor was especially skilled in non-fiction writing but not quite as talented when it came to fiction writing. Each mentor has different skills. Some are better at sentence structure. Some at storyline. Others excel in word images. Each taught me something different.
     I’ve also had spiritual mentors throughout my life, and I plan on having them for as long as possible. Many of those mentors I have never met, but their written words have guided my spiritual path. Others have been a part of my life in the form of holy men and women, official or unofficial. Most of those spiritual mentors have come and gone. I have become close enough friends with some of them to see their faults. Just as with the writing mentors who excelled in one area but were weak in others, these spiritual mentors have shown me they make mistakes from time to time.
     Each mentor that comes into our lives has a purpose for being in our lives, both for them and for us. As we teach, so we learn. And, in order to learn, we must teach. Do not be surprised to find your mentors make mistakes. Don’t be afraid to let a mentor go. You will know when the time is right, and when we are meant to have another mentor in our lives, he or she will appear.

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Develop Positive Energy

4/11/2016

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​Negative thinking keeps us stuck in old habits and prevents us from accomplishing things we want to achieve. Our positive thoughts open possibilities that can not only change our lives, but also the lives of everyone we meet. It can even change the lives of people we will never meet. Positive thinking and positive energy can change our planet and make it a happier and move loving place to live.
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Here and Now

4/10/2016

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​In order to get beyond fear and addiction we must learn to center our lives in the present moment. Remembering pain takes us out of the present and into the past. Remembering pleasure and trying to recreate that experience can lead to addiction. By living fully in the moment we can find freedom and peace.
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